Ninja kitten

[info]neighbor_ninja

No one saw me.

I am a successful ninja.

Ninja Allies, Foes, and Minions
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
July 22nd, 2029
a black banner with green lettering reads Stealthy reader, hello to you.

Ninjas must have excellent (yet nearly invisible!) networking skills in order to best destroy their enemies. Today I reach out to you in friendship. You may prove our alliance by leaving gifts of tribute in the form of...

(1. Links to ninja lore, ninjas in the news, ninja products, and ninja online dating sites

(2. A fond hello and wishes for my ninja success

(3. Beginning ninja-music collaboration projects with other stealthy readers

(4. Cuddly pet iguanas

(5. Handy ninja tips for ultimate sneaky prowess

Welcome to my suburban ninja lair. Hope you are nicely invisible and flexible,

Your [info]neighbor_ninja
(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
August 4th, 9:33
Ninjas must be able to hide in the smallest of spaces. Today I crouched under my computer desk and counted dust bunnies. No one saw me. I am a successful ninja.
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(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
August 3rd, 7:58
Ninjas must have excellent aim. As I lack throwing-stars as of yet, today I set up my husband's garbage-can stained velvet Elvis pillows (retrieved at the behest of [info]svashtar) and threw rocks at them. No one saw me. I am a successful ninja.
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(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
August 2nd, 9:29
Ninjas must be fleet of foot. Today I began the Couch to 5k training regime, with one adjustment: I did all of my running in the wee hours of the morning, and darted into the shrubbery whenever I saw headlights approaching. Although I'm scraped and bruised, no one saw me. I am a successful ninja.
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(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
August 1st, 8:48
Ninjas must have a nemesis. My newspaper-stealing neighbor doesn't exhibit the bad-assery needed for a true nemesis. Today I sat in the limbs of my tree and watched, hidden amongst its boughs, as my neighbors strolled to and fro. Although I haven't yet discovered my nemesis, no one saw me. I am a successful ninja.
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(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
July 31st, 8:34
Ninjas must be able to kill a man with their bare hands. Today I watched Chuck Norris movies. No one saw me. I am a successful ninja.
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(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
July 30th, 8:28
Ninjas are leaping artists. Today I jumped rope in the back yard. I did not chant out playground songs as I did so. No one saw me. I am a successful ninja.
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(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
July 29th, 9:50
Ninjas are slim yet muscular. Today I did arm curls with my cans of weight loss shake. No one saw me. I am a successful ninja.
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(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
July 28th, 6:47
Ninjas do not lose Frisbees upon their roofs. Today I leaned a ladder against the side of my house and, stepping diffidently, retrieved my Frisbee. Although my roof is now damaged in several locations, no one saw me. I am a successful ninja.
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(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
July 27th, 8:07
Ninjas must be able to throw shuriken with deadly accuracy. As I have no shuriken, today I threw a pink plastic Frisbee. It landed upon my roof. No one saw me. I am a successful ninja.
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(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
July 26th, 18:09
Ninjas must be able to stand as still as a statue. Today I froze in position in my living room and maintained my pose even as a fly crawled atop my nose. No one saw me. I am a successful ninja.
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(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
July 24th, 8:07
Ninjas must move with supple ease underwater. Today I snorkeled in my bathtub. No one saw me. I am a successful ninja.
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(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
July 23rd, 8:19
Ninjas must control time. Today I spent an hour with my face buried in a pile of itchy, scratchy grass in order to make an hour pass by as slowly as possible. No one saw me. I am a successful ninja.
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(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
July 22nd, 8:52
Ninjas have a special rapport with animals.  Today I crouched behind my car and fed a neighborhood kitty some tuna.  No one saw me.  I am a successful ninja.
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(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
July 21st, 8:08
Ninjas must wreak vengeance upon their enemies.  Today I stole a bloom from my newspaper-stealing neighbor's prize hollyhock.  No one saw me.  I am a successful ninja.
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(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
July 20th, 8:06
Ninjas live on healthy diets of vegetables, fish, and rice.  Today I ate rice with brown sugar, heavy cream, and raisins.  No one saw me.  I am a successful ninja.
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(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
July 19th, 7:51
Ninjas must be as supple as the willow.  Today I attempted to touch my toes.  Thank God, no one saw me.  I am a successful ninja.
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(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
July 18th, 9:25
Ninjas must leap over obstacles with ease.  Today I placed my couch cushions on the floor and attempted to leap over them.  No one saw me.  I am a successful ninja.
Tags:
(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
July 17th, 8:35
Ninjas must live in austere environments.  Today I discarded my husband's velvet Elvis pillows.  No one saw me.  I am a successful ninja.
(no subject)
Ninja kitten
[info]neighbor_ninja
July 16th, 7:47
Ninjas must have lithe bodies.  Today I bought several cases of diet shakes online.  No one saw me.  I am a successful ninja.
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